Ｆａｌｌ Ｂｒｅｅｚｅ ＆ Ａｕｔｕｍｎ ＬＥＡＶＥＳ

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته أختي  مرحباً

Morning sunrises and fall leaves cascading over the Pennsylvania streets of mine.

I am loving every minute of this. It’s just like I imagined, maybe just a tad bit better. This is sweater weather. I don’t own a sweater. Instead, I sport a hijab, a jilbaab, and a fleece poncho. I recently moved, and it’s been an interesting move. I’ve been blessed to wake up to the most beautiful view of the sunrise and the most perfect view of autumn, with a beautiful tree right outside my window.

My neighborhood is a mix of city traffic and suburbia vibes. My neighbors are a mix of young and old, mostly families, many with their own businesses, working class. I think I fit in as a single Muslim sister with no pets, though sometimes I want a cat. But my landlord doesn’t allow pets, and honestly, I don’t have time for a cat. I like the flexibility of not having that responsibility, but I miss the companionship.

I’ve been walking around, getting comfortable in my new space, and appreciating myself for having the will to move toward better living. I have a kettle that whistles when it’s ready, and that makes me smile because I love having a cup of hot tea. I have a comfy sofa where I curl up, read books, recite Qur’an, and sometimes cry.

I have peace here.

I look out of my kitchen window while washing dishes at a detached garage and a large backyard that’s a mix of cracked asphalt and grass. Sometimes I see my neighbor let their dog out in the morning for his daily bathroom breaks. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of the neighborhood stray cats rolling in the grass, sunbathing, or chasing their lunch, field mice.

These things remind me of Allah and how His creation is provided for. Me, with these beautiful sights of His creation, and them, well, the outdoors. This season of my life is filled with gratitude, strength, loss, will, and power. Curiosity has come to visit me a few times. She’s nice. She’s kind. She offers me things. She has given me something I think is of much value, and she challenges my space. Challenges my perception. My place. She’s great.

I cooked butternut squash soup. I mixed it with tomato and zucchini. I forgot the roasted garlic. It still came out good. Trying new things sometimes creates this weird space in my body. I’m so eager to do the thing, and then boom, I get weird about it. I made that soup about a week and a half ago. It was delicious, and I’ve had it a few times. I made a big pot.

I think my experience of challenging myself to do something, carrying it out, and then reaping the reward of my labor sounds and feels like skepticism. If you knew me, the girl from South Philly/ Germantown, you’d know I didn’t do things like this.

It’s so outside my box.

But who said there had to be a box anyway.